5 of the Best Draft Punishments for Fantasy Football Losers
It’s that week again! It is the best, most very special, fun week of the year for the fantasy football enthusiast. It’s draft week! Most of us who aren’t strictly donating our entry fee have done our research, made our lists, checked them twice, and watched an alarmingly large amount of preseason football. Oh, and of course, the savvy fantasy player is obviously making regular visits to the sharps and experts here at Faceoff Sports Network, for all the help they need to secure a legitimate shot at a championship.
Shameless self-promotion aside, fantasy football drafts should be the best day of the year. Regardless of how your season plays out. It is a chance to have a few adult beverages if you are so inclined, reconnect with friends, and talk trash. What better way to spend an August afternoon?
Many leagues regularly take advantage of the previous season’s final standings to honor the winners and shame the losers. From title belts to championship trophies to fat cash payouts, honoring the champion is an absolute necessity. So, if we are going to honor the best, conversely, we should punish the worst!
Punishing the loser has been increasing in popularity in recent years, with many league losers getting tattoos, eating more waffles than a human should actually eat in one sitting, and wearing t-shirts letting the world know they suck at fantasy football.
All great ideas, but we are seeking to get creative and spice up the annual ritual of punishing the loser. Now, we aren’t looking to break any laws or get any permanent body alterations, but we are trying to make it sting because losing SHOULD sting! With all of this in mind, here are 5 of the Best Draft Punishments for the 2023 season!
5. HERE’S YOUR SIGN
No, I’m not talking about doing standup like the famous Blue Collar comedian Bill Engvall (that’s coming later); what I am talking about is a good, old-fashioned sandwich board. Now, I realize “Eat at Joe’s” style sandwich boards aren’t exactly available at the local Walmart, but what is available is a string, construction paper, and magic markers.
The rest of the league mates write their messages on the board, rated G, of course, and the last-place finisher must don the board and head out for some good, old-fashioned public shaming. Bonus points if any of his league mates are available to film the event and post it to social media.
4. SURVEY SAYS!
What is more annoying than simply wanting to walk into your local grocery store to pick up some necessities only to be accosted by Girl Scouts, fundraisers, or someone wanting you to sign a petition to save some endangered snail? How about walking into the local Kroger only to be told a sob story about how someone sucks at fantasy football, and they need 100 signatures to be allowed to attend the draft? Yep, the last-place finisher must attain 100 signatures to be able to attend the draft. The loser must plead their case to strangers and persuade them to sign a draft-attendance permission form.
3. NO PAIN, NO GAIN
We aren’t talking about inflicting physical pain on the last-place owner, though that is an interesting proposition. Instead, the biggest loser must perform a “Biggest Loser” style punishment. Last place assumes a plank position at the start of the actual draft and must hold it until their pick. Sound too hard? Of course, it does! That’s why a pie of the league winners’ choosing is waiting for the face of the last-place owner when he inevitably fails and face plants, much like the previous fantasy season.
2. STAND UP, OR SIT DOWN
This is a fun proposition for everyone involved. Except last place, of course. Most comedy clubs have an open mic night. Wannabe comedians flock to open mic, usually bombing in the process. Last place must choose between doing stand-up or sitting down for the balance of the draft. Not just sitting down on the couch or at a table where the grown-ups are drafting. Rather, the losing manager must spend the draft at the kid’s table. Certainly, someone in the draft has kids and kid’s furniture. Bring in a child-sized table and chairs and spend the draft thinking about your actions, mister!
1. SEND IN THE CLOWNS
This one will require some expense and some work, but it’s worth it. The losing manager obviously played like a clown last season, so why shouldn’t he look the part during the draft? Party stores always carry rainbow wigs, clown makeup, and all the accouterment necessary to make the last place bozo look like the real Bozo. For added embarrassment, if there are any children available, allow them to do the clown makeup, and if possible, the losing manager must communicate with their horn. Okay, maybe the last part is a bit much, but use your imagination!
Draft day is the best day of the year, but abject failure shouldn’t only be punished. It should be rewarded. Get creative, keep it safe, use your imagination, and give the last-place manager the impetus not to screw up their season once again.
Trending Now
Best Ways to Determine Your Fantasy Football Draft Order
Fantasy Football Team Names
PPR Rankings
Fantasy Football Consultation
For the latest free agent news, check out the Fantasy Football News Tracker.
Connect and Engage with the Show:
- Subscribe on YouTube
- Visit us on the Web
- Follow us on Facebook
- Follow on Twitter
- Subscribe on Apple Podcasts
- Follow on Instagram
- Subscribe on Google Podcasts
- Subscribe on Spotify
Join our Communities:
