As I continue reflecting on my own mental health and encourage others to reflect on theirs, it’s easy to get lost in the ” this is what worked for me so it should work for you” train of thought. However, this is seldom the case. This week I want to explore uniqueness as it applies to individual mental health. 

You’ve probably had a similar exchange before:

Me: Man, I’m just in a rut right now.

Friend: Oh yeah why’s that?

Me: I’m not sure I’m just in a funk.

Friend: Well when I’m in a funk I do…

Sure that exchange is probably different for each person reading it but the general theme is probably familiar. You’re expressing that you’re “in a funk” and the other person, while trying to be helpful, is providing the answer by telling you what has helped him/her. Or maybe the roles are reversed and you’re providing the miracle cure to your friend. 

I know it might read a bit hypocritical that in a series in which I’ve given advice about Mental Health to now be criticizing giving advice. But the purpose here is more in understanding yourself and your journey. As well as reinforcing the fact that what works for one person may not work for you just as what works for you might not work for someone else. 

It reminds me of all the parenting books my wife and I were reading in preparation for our twins. Rarely did the authors wholly agree with each other and even more rarely, but more often the case, did they express that what they were espousing might not be at all helpful for us!

The balance we found was in having lots of parenting options to choose from and then deploying them as we saw fit for us and our children. This resonates with my mental health adventure. First, I spent a large swath of time with limited options for dealing with my mental health. Overall, the stigma, the anxiety, and the just-being-me led to a lack of knowledge about how to deal with my own issues. 

As I began to learn more about mental health in general as well as my own, I’ve been able to explore more and more options. Some of them have worked and some of them have failed miserably. And some of my issues I’m still working with and through. 

And I say all this to say, nothing I’ve done, no matter how amazing it’s been for me, might help you in your specific situation. However, it might help provide a new perspective or a new option you didn’t know of before. 

As you listen to others and share with others remember that each of us is unique and therefore we will all experience our mental health differently. Dr. Suess provides perhaps the best perspective, “there’s is no one alive who is you-er than you!”

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